Dating in Korea

“This is the perfect place to kiss you.”

I’m back. Took a short vacation.

Can you guess who said the above message to me? 

My heart might have fluttered a bit.

While I’ve been away, it seems I’ve been making up for all the time I lost in 2011. The sex drought is over. I’ve had three dates since last writing. The drought was not ended by any of them. When ending a drought of such magnitude (~a year) I thought it best to go for, well, the best. Of course. 

I did kiss each of the three dates I had. As of now, only two of the three I’d like to hear from again. And of those two, there’s one that’s definitely winning the battle to my heart. Which sounds lame. But, hey, when a man picks you up in his car from work, wearing a damn nice suit and glasses, plays Frank Sinatra on the way to the bar, and then country music on the way home…you can’t help but fall a little. Here’s hoping he’s not a flake. 

Off-topic: Drama update.

Since Lee Sun Gyun has been woefully absent in the drama world since Pasta, I have had to base my drama decisions on other things. Like, amazing story lines and, ahem, other actors that I enjoy watching. 

Thus, I’m watching my first Saeguk. It’s rather amazing and I’m sad I haven’t gotten into them before. The storyline of this one really caught my eye, and when I found out that Jung Il-Woo (49 Days, Flower Boy Ramyeun Shop) would be returning to the Saeguk world (aka, what I like to call his roots) so quickly after getting two major lead roles in modern-day dramas, I had to tune it. If you haven’t heard, this drama is sweeping the nation. I mean, it’s not there yet. But with debut numbers of 19% and over 20% the first two nights, it’s a serious contender to take over the next month or so of drama land. It’s called “The Sun and the Moon” or “The Moon Embraces the Sun.” The numbers are huge for this show because Saeguks don’t usually reveal the main cast until a few episodes into the story. Which means, the child actors and the basics of the plot are what’s pulling these numbers. When I watch this drama, I find it’s absolutely perfect. The kids are great, and if you like Korean movies or dramas, I’m sure you’ll recognize at least one familiar face. The story is fantastic so far and I’m head over heels for this drama. I highly recommend it, and I’ve only seen a few episodes. The main storyline is being revealed piece by piece so I say more than I should, but it involves illegitimate princes, betrayal, shamans and, of course, the sun and the moon. The two princes are the suns, and the two young noble girls that enter the palace as companions to the princess are the moons. I won’t say any more, but it’s worth checking out. It’s one of those ones that all your students will be talking about. Even if the numbers stay around 20% (I predict they’ll skyrocket in the next few weeks as the children grow up and the main actors take over, but I could be wrong) it’s still going to be a stronghold in the Wed/Thurs timeslot. 

The other drama I’m watching is competing in the same timeslot, sadly. However, it has Lee Donk Wook in it (Scent of a Woman, Partner) so even if the ratings aren’t there, I don’t see them pulling an early plug on it. It’s rather cute and very Protect the Boss-y, though I’m not a huge fan of the lead actress, so it is a bit of a hard sell. The basic plot is, at least how I’m equating it, an LG/Doosan fan’s dream plot. The star player for the red team (LG) is sorta a dick and ends up getting death threats from an anti-fan that turn serious. Due to unfortunate circumstances (isn’t that how it always works out?) a diehard blue fan (Doosan) is forced to be his bodyguard to protect both of their images. And his life. Much to her family’s chagrin. It’s campy, and cute, and got that whole ‘girl looks like a tomboy’ thing going for it. I think it’ll edge out the other drama (Captain) in its timeslot, but don’t know that it’ll pull amazing numbers just because of the Saeguk it’s competing with.

Anyway, that’s what I’m watching. If anyone else wants to tune in, and needs someone to talk to about it, you can always email me. God knows, the ladies at work are sick of hearing me talk about them. (And it’s only been two weeks.)

Tin Pan called.

I missed it.

He called again about 20 minutes later. The entire call lasted 9minutes. He asked me what I was doing. I told him I was heading home. He told me that he was running with his dog. He asked me what I was doing again. I told him again. This is when I started smiling.

Then he said that yesterday he had gone to Gangnam to see me. Which, you know, confused me. Until I realized he had ‘yesterday’ and ‘tomorrow’ confused. so, I might have started giggling. He reminded me that we were meeting at 8:30 and then said goodbye. A little shocked at the entire rush of a call, I asked him what. He said it again, apologized for his English (which was not a problem, haha, it was me being confused at him being confused) and then told me to go home. That he’d see me yesterday. At 8:30. And goodbye. I was cracking up as he hung up the phone.

Whatever happens tomorrow. I think I’m going to have a great, and confusing, time. However, I think it’s gonna be totally memorable. Crossing my fingers he doesn’t cancel. I’m really looking forward to this. 

Tin Pan and I have a date.

Trying not to get my hopes up. Because I’ve had a few bad run-ins with dates being set but then cancelled at the last minute. But, I can’t help it. Even if I don’t remember what he looks like, I’m looking forward to meeting him. He makes me laugh. And I’m definitely a firm believer in my mom’s ‘be with someone that makes you laugh’ rule of thumb. He cracks me up, but I don’t think he means to. 

The problem I’m having is why I gave him my number in the first place. Did we make out? I think we might have. Did we have a good time dancing together? I hope so. Or, was one of those guys you give your number to to make him go away? I certainly hope not. 

He’s also a take-charge sort. And given my New Year’s resolution, I’m pretty stoked that my first date of the new year is scheduled for this Friday, only two weeks into the year. 

Also, he’s made no mention of sex, my looks, or me being foreign, besides asking me where I was from once. 

I’ve also been suffering from food poisoning. I’ve been in awful pain since Sunday and am hoping I’m starting to recover now, as I’ve begun to feel better. Though, this morning’s 30minute vomiting session was not a consolation prize of any sort. 

So, Tin Pan’s conversations with me of late have been rather boring. It goes like this.

Him: How are you??

Me: Dying. I’m sick. Help me. Please. I want to die. [Okay, not this bad. But I’ve been pretty miserable.]

Him: So sad. 

[Later.]

Him: I’m home. What are you doing?

Me: Watching dramas.

Him: I’m read a book!!!

Me: I’m watching ‘The Sun and the Moon.’

[Next day.]

Him: Did you eat today?

Me: No. I’m still sick.

[Later.]

Him: I’m home. What are you doing?

Me: Watching dramas.

Him: I’m computer!!!

Me: I’m watching ‘Flower Boy Ramen Shop.’

[Next day.]

Him: How are you today?

Me: ….sick…

Him: I had lunch.

[Later.]

Him: I’m home. What are you doing?

Me: …dramas. >.< 

Him: Sun and the Moon?

Me: No. Wild Romance.

Him: I’m watching tv!!!

Then later, he came back with.

“You really like dramas?” He said he liked movies. He told me his fave movie was The Last of the Mohicans. Awkward. But, hey, it’s a good sign if he’s willing to put up with me telling him I’m watching three different dramas in three days. Cause sometimes that doesn’t go over so well. 

We also had this little gem of a convo, which if you don’t know the game, you won’t understand, but it made me laugh. 

Him: [randomly sends a pic of a crocodile in a shopping cart being pushed by another croc skating behind her.]

Me: You like Where’s My Water?

Him: Water?

Me: That picture. It’s a game. I love it!

Him: Crocodile Water! Me too! I love it!

Haha. So, there’s that. 

The Aussie update.

Falling into serious like with someone is always a nice feeling. It makes you all happy and giddy when you see them and get to know them.

I am falling into like with the Aussie.

At this point, I couldn’t say if I like him for a relationship or just a casual hookup. i think I’d be happy with either. He treats his female friends really well, and he also takes care of his male friends. He’s always been really polite to me, and he’s funny and patient as well.

He speaks English, Korean and Japanese. The last two he speaks decently well, but not fluently. Anyone that speaks even a little Korean and Japanese knows that it is really easy to confuse the two languages, especially when talking to someone else that speaks both. Nouns and verbs get confused, but because the language is interchangeable, it’s easy to slip into a weird double-language conversation. We were sitting  there one night, and discussing how I have a hard time speaking Korean, even when I know what to say. I get nervous and have an easier time talking to strangers than people I know. He took his time. He said he understood where I was coming from, but if I take it slow I’d get it. He started asking me questions in Korean and Japanese combined to see if I could translate them. He didn’t rush me. He didn’t pressure me. When I got most of it correct but a small article wrong, he’d go back and re-emphasize the part I’d missed to see if I could correct my mistake myself. Turns out, when I am not nervous and on my guard, I can. He was proud of me. And it made me feel good. Haha. Silly thing, no? But still nice. And it speaks well to his character that he sat there in the bar talking to me to try and help me instead of just shooting the breeze. If I’m alone and my friend is talking to another guy, he always comes over to spend time with me. He’s also excused himself from me a few times because he wants to make sure his female friends don’t need his help if they’ve been approached by a new guy and look uncomfortable. He’s a good guy. I know that much at least.

Anyway, I hadn’t seen him for some time. I figured we just weren’t going to the bar at the same time, or maybe he’d gone home for Christmas.

I ran into him on Wednesday when we’d stopped by to have dinner. He was having tea. This bar is happening, if you couldn’t tell.

We were doing crossword puzzles at the bar, like we normally do, and he and his friend wanted to join in. My friend was sitting between us and I was on the end. She let them look at her book, and in the process, turned her back to me. I worked on my puzzle alone for a bit (20 minutes) while the three of them pored over the other one. She told me later she was trying to find a way to bring me in, but couldn’t. Haha. She’s still learning how to be good wingman. (And if she’s reading this, she knows I’m just teasing her.) Anyway, I wasn’t mad or ticked or anything, just slightly peeved that I was out of the convo because the book was far away.

The Aussie stopped what he was doing and asked if I was working on my own puzzle. I told him I was, and put my head back down to keep going. Not my finest moment, if we’re being honest.

Apparently, she looked up at that moment and he was just staring at me. She said he stared at me for a good two minutes before going back to the puzzle. So, maybe he does like me.

When they left, they asked if we were coming back on Friday or Saturday. I told them we’d be in on Saturday. He said good, and that they’d come on Saturday, too. Sounds promising.

Today is Saturday. Fingers crossed I run into him tonight.

Protein Powder? More like Baby Powder.

So that date that was supposed to happen? It never did.

Let me explain.

At INP’s house, he and I were texting back and forth last week. It was the day before our date, and I was rather excited to go on a proper date for the first time in a long time.

I had planned my outfit, and was ready to head back to Seoul and see what was what with the guy. I wasn’t especially enamored with him. I did, it must be admitted, like the idea of him and Busan meeting, but that was pretty much it.

The texting went as follows.

Him: Can I ask you something personality?

Me: Sure.

Him: Um…When did had last time?

Me: …

Him: Don’t know.

Me: Oh I know. But I don’t know you very well. So, I can’t say…

Him: Just asking. Nothing means. Sorry.

Me: It’s okay.

Him: Because  I was so long time ago…just curious. I wanna make love with you…honestly. I like you.

Me: You are not a nice guy.

Him: Why?? Just asking something. I means make good relationship. Why am I not nice?

Me: Nice guys don’t talk like that to girls they just met. If you want to meet for sex, I am not interested. If you want to meet for a date, I am interested. It’s  your choice.

Him: I interest you…I choose…both…

Me: I like you and you are funny. But I don’t want pressure over sex. I just want to have a date and see how you are.

Him: Yes I see. Ok. We’ll make good time tomorrow.

Me: Ok. Last chance. Be nice.^^

And then a few hours later he texted to cancel our date. Said he had to work. I invited him out later that night, and he said he’d call if he could come. He never called.

No big deal. I think I dodged a bullet. I think he got scared when I responded as I did. I should have just asked him if he’d tell a Korean girl that, when he’d just met her. But, I wasn’t really thinking fully as I responded to him. I haven’t heard from him since, nor have I tried to contact him. For the best really, though Busan was a little sad he didn’t get to meet Mr. Muscles.

Drummer finis.

No idea. Really no idea what happened. I’m still a little grumpy about it to be honest, but that’s how these things go.

To answer someone’s question that asked me in the comments, no, we weren’t dating. We met once in September, and then that was it. We did, however, talk for six months every day. He had asked me at the end of November to wait for him for one more month while he quit his job. I said okay, because I had nothing else on the line. I still don’t, not really.

We texted up until Christmas Eve. He texted me Merry Christmas after midnight, and we talked about what we were doing the next day.

And that was it.

Forever.

I just, I don’t get it, I guess.

Maybe he got tired of this back and forth situation he created. But, I don’t see why he didn’t get out sooner if he did. Maybe he met a new girl. Seems unlikely given his personality, but it’s definitely possible. I really don’t know.

All I know is that I sent  him a few messages after Christmas, and all came back unreplied. I sent him one final one on New Year’s Eve inviting him out if he wanted to come, because I was drunk, and it was 7:30pm and I wanted a New Year’s kiss at midnight.

No reply. He has read all my messages, but that’s it.

And I’m not going to keep texting when there’s no reply and wasn’t, quite frankly, enough to go on in the first place. It’s sad. Sad because this situation reminds me of the Hulk and how maybe I have a problem with giving guys too many outs before it becomes a routine. I think I’m really forgiving when it comes to guys being busy or unable to see me. But then we fall into this thing where we never meet, and I think it’s okay, because we’re only casually dating, and it’s not that big a deal to me.

Anyway, for the future, I’m going to try and stick to a time-line. A date every week, or two, in the beginning. And if it falls apart, then it falls apart. Somehow, I managed to stop biting my nails right before Christmas, so I don’t need that to be my resolution this year. (As it has been for the past 20.) This year the resolution is to hold guys more accountable in the beginning of the relationship. And that’ll weed out the serious contenders with the hanger-ons. Nothing wrong with a hanger-on, mind you. But, I deserve more than that. And no matter how cute, funny, or sweet a guy is. Well, you can’t have a relationship via text. And that’s the bottom line.

1st Tin Pan.

aka Blast from the Past.

I’ve met a guy. Rather, I’ve re-met a guy. I have no idea what he looks like. Or why we never spoke again after that night. I do know he’s a watch designer and 31. I do know that we met in late 2008 or 2009. I know that we haven’t spoken or texted since that time. I know he was the first guy I met at Tin Pan, because that’s what he’s in my phone as.

I don’t know if we slept together.

I have a sneaking hunch, because that’s how we rolled back then, that we made out.

I also know he’s funny.

It started on New Year’s. He sent me a text that said Happy New Year. I figured it was a mass text. You know, one of those things that you get around the holidays. I figured I wasn’t supposed to be texted because we met at a club, after all. However, he sent the message in English. I replied saying Happy New Year to you as well, because I was in a good mood and it was the new year, after all.

He sent me back a giant message in Korean with different emoticons that he must have gotten from somewhere, wishing me well in all aspects of my life. Later that night, he wished me a good night. In the morning, because he’d made me laugh with his random messages, I sent him a good morning text.

We’ve been texting on and off ever since.

He’s definitely the same guy that I had gotten the number from three years ago. I must have met him when I was 23 or 24 depending on the time we met. He must have been 26 or 27. I haven’t seen a picture, because his Kakao Chat doesn’t have one.

It’s been…weird. Let’s be real. It’s awkward because I have no idea of our previous connection. I’m 99% sure I didn’t sleep with him, because I feel like I’d remember that. I also know my first one-night stand was January 1st, 2009, and if I’m correct in the thought that I met him around November or December of ‘08, then we definitely didn’t hook up.

He asked where I was from last night. I asked him if he remembered me at all. I figure he doesn’t, or he wouldn’t be asking me questions like that. I still have no idea why he decided to contact me after all this time, but I can’t say I’m unhappy with things.

Friday night he asked what I was doing that night. I told him I was headed out to meet some friends after work. He seemed disappointed. Like, I get the feeling maybe he was asking me on a date in a roundabout way. I asked to see a picture of him, because my Kakao has my picture, but his doesn’t. He misunderstood.

I think he thought I was asking to see him. He replied that we’d ‘see each other next.’ Which, I get that it translates into Korean fine, but that’s a really awkward thing to say in English.

So who knows.

All I know for sure is that if we do meet up, or date or whatever, it’s a hell of a story.

Korean guys, you never know when they’re going to pop back up. This is, by far, the weirdest situation I’ve had this happen in. But, certainly not the first.

We shall see what happens. New Year, newish-old beginnings, right?

Date on Saturday. It’s been a long time.

Back to my roots, I guess.

He seems nice enough. Makes me laugh. Makes INP laugh. We met on my phone and while he’s not at all my normal type for guys, he’s doing something right.

He’s proactive. Within two nights of chatting he’s asked me out on a date. INP gave him her seal of approval when, once I agreed, he asked me what time I’d like to meet. He followed that up by asking where I want to meet.

He actually lives fairly close to where I work, so that’s nice. I don’t really want to meet this weekend, because I want to save my energy for Saturday night. But, I figure it’s a good way to usher in the new year. Who knows, if things go well, he can just tag along to our night festivities and it’ll be all sorts of awkward.

The only problem is, Mr. Protein Powder is buff. Like, “I’m So Buff Maybe I Take Steroids” buff. And that’s just not my thing. I normally go for scrawny, Gumby types. But, in the spirit of fairness, I’m not going to hold it against him. Mostly because when I texted him the picture of the truffles we made earlier he asked if I’d give him some. And I like a man that can appreciate my food. Haha.

Anyway, Protein and me. We’ll see how this goes. Ring-a-ding-ding 2012.

One of the reasons I want to date the drummer so much:

INP and I want to watch him and Busan meet for the first time.

I think it’ll be hilarious. We plan on introducing them, and then excusing ourselves to the other side of the bar, so we’re just close enough to hear them but not close enough to interrupt. 

We have problems. 

In other news, he’s supposed to give me a Christmas gift* soon. Odds of this happening before Christmas? 0%. But a girl can dream. 

*By gift, I meant kiss. But, still a gift either way.

Conversation like this are some of the biggest reasons why I like Drummer.

We were supposed to have a date maybe this week. I sorta forgot about. I’m planning the school’s Christmas party for the kids, so I hadn’t messaged him all week. He told me that he couldn’t meet this weekend, so when Thursday rolled around and I realized I hadn’t texted and he hadn’t called, I figured it was off.

Seems the boy took himself off to Busan to train with his band. Well, he’s training now. They’re actually doing a band tour. Not sure if it’s only Busan or other parts of Korea as well. 

I texted him hello tonight at the PC Bang just to see what he was up to. He wrote back asking me if I could listen to him perform a song. “Would you plz listen my song??? I will call u.” I said sure, and told him to send it over. He called.

I went outside, in the freezing cold, and took the call. I heard a lot of jumbled Korean and said hello a few times. I guess he’d set the phone down. Then, the most godawful noise hit my ears. I think there were a lot of cymbals in the song, and I’m 99% sure he set the phone down on his knee to play. I could barely hear anything.

In the distant background I could hear the lead singer mumbling. I could hear a guitar jamming, but every time the drums started up, the phone vibrated and started fizzing out and buzzing in my ear. My god. I started laughing.

I guess they screwed up the beginning, because they stopped. Counted down again, and started to play again. I kept giggling and holding the phone away from my ear as I shivered in the cold. When the song ended, the phone disconnected. He’d hung up on me.

I texted him if that was it? I guess that wasn’t very nice, but I was very confused. He wrote back laughing and asked what I’d thought. I guess that WAS it. I said that I couldn’t hear it very well, but that it sounded nice. (Hey, we all lie sometimes. And the song sounded okay, if unintelligible.)

Then a few minutes went by and I got two pictures via text. One was of the lead singer/guitar player, looking sheepish and entirely embarrassed to be having his picture taken. The second was of him in a total Myspace (selca edition) with half his face missing. 

He still looked great.

Me: Haha. Cute guitar player. Who is that guy on the drums?

Drummer: Hahahahah I don’t know.

Me: He’s hot. Can I have his phone number?

Drummer: Hahahahah I don’t know it.

Me: Too bad. At least I still have you.

Drummer: Hahaha

Me: You always make me laugh.

Drummer: …really?

And that, boys and girls, is how you manage to keep a girl on the hook for six months, even if you only have met once. Laughter and ridiculous ‘serenades.’

It’s also nice that while I’m aware the band knew who I was, and that they wanted to meet me, that now I know he’s still talking about me to them. I find it sweet they let me listen in on their practice.

Bottom line: best phone call I’ve had in a long time. 

MIA

So. My cat died. And it sucks. And life sucks. But, the Drummer has been supportive because he has three cats. And, you know, he is just a nice guy. He didn’t try to do that thing where guys try to cheer you up when they don’t know what to say. He handled it perfectly. Anyway that is why I haven’t written lately. Because I still miss my cat.

The Aussie.

There is one man reading this right now, that is probably smiling to himself. To him I say: this post has nothing to do with you. Haha. But, I do owe you thanks, because I def. impressed some men with my infinite cricket knowledge, and that’s entirely to do to you. (That was also a total lie. I never read that packet you sent me. But they did laugh at my cricket = baseball + long jump theory.)

Let me explain.

Last post I wrote about a guy that fucked everything up. 

It’s come to my attention. That the more we go to our bar, the more we know everyone that goes. On a given night, I definitely know at least 95% of the people there. The last 5% rotate in and out. They’re business men and they come and go. One guy in the 95% is Australian. He’s average looking, average height, average everything, I assume, but someone I’ve really come to like. I’m not sure how he feels about me. 

He brings in different friends sometimes, and the friend I met three weeks ago was this guy who we watched strike out with a Korean girl after two hours of trying. The Aussie and Co. were talking to me trying to get me to explain why exactly the friend was striking out. I was giving a play-by-play on what was going on, and eventually the girl left. His friend came over to talk to me after they told him what I’d said. 

The friend was funny. He was really funny and seemed nice. Now, I don’t think he’s so nice, as conceited, but whatevs. He’s a decent enough guy, I just don’t like him either way. But, that night he had done two things that I was really impressed by. 

1. It was my girlfriend’s birthday, and he came over to sing the birthday song to her. 

2. At the end of the night, he said he’d buy me a drink if I kissed him. I refused. He bought me the drink anyway and didn’t push it.

I really liked those two moves, so I gave him my number. 

He never called. It was for the best. I don’t really want to date him and I don’t really want to sleep with him.

It had been three weeks. I kept seeing the Aussie and he kept asking me if I’d gotten a phone call. I told him no. He would laugh and say he couldn’t believe it. That I was a good girl. That he didn’t know what his friend was doing.

Then Friday night, I saw the Aussie again. He told me his friend was coming by again. That he’d been on TV and they were all going to watch it together. Awesome.

The friend came over, I busted his balls for not calling, and he went on his way. Now, my girlfriends and I agree, the Aussie is def. not going to make a move on me, even if he likes me, because of his friend. Fuck.

The Aussie told me on Sat. that he and a Brit were going to spend the entire day at home, watching cricket. I dropped some of my cricket knowledge. They were impressed. Mostly because there is one cricket player that I just love, for no real reason, except there’s a clip on Youtube of him lobbing a ball at a ref’s head when he got pissed off. His name is Merv Hughes. Now, Merv is really old. He doesn’t play anymore. When I told the boys, they were highly impressed. They said there’s no greater sport than cricket. I kindly disagreed. They were astounded. Until I said rugby blew cricket out of the water. Their mouths dropped. The Aussie said that you couldn’t beat a girl like me. The Brit agreed.

When I left my seat because a drunk, married-for-four-years-with-a-daughter Korean man was hitting on me and telling me I was cute and putting his arms around me, 

(Him: You’re very cute. Me: You’re very married.)

the Aussie came to where I was to stand with me and talk to me until they Korean guys left.

I just, I dunno. I like him.

First time I’ve really liked a western guy since I’ve been here.

I’ve had this issue with Brits and Aussie guys though. I can’t tell if they’re interested in being friends, or interested in being more. Irish guys? I got this. Scottish guys? I know. Dutch guys? 100% it’s obvious.

But those British and Aussie accents. They confuse the fuck out of me.

The Aussie said I should meet his British friend and that he was a good guy. To me, that indicates he’s more interested in having me hook up or date one of his friends. But, he does always come over and talk to me each time we’re in the bar. And he says things that indicate he likes me. So, I guess I don’t know either way.

Anyway, it’s probably for the best. If we hooked up, things might get awkward since we both go to the bar every weekend. But, I’m not saying I wouldn’t be down for a romp in his three bedroom apartment, especially now that his roommate is gone.

Also, if he’s reading this, he definitely knows it’s him I’m talking about. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Aish. 

Bartender, the recap.

I don’t know how far into things I explained. 

One night, I got drunk, and I asked out Bartender on a date. He said yes. He seemed rather excited about it. This was in October. He said he was busy this month, but that he was free early the next. I said ok.

His birthday came and went.

He told me, one Friday, that the next Wednesday we could have our date. I was rather stoked. He was blushing. All was going well.

So, what happened? 

My god. The most embarrassing thing. And I really don’t like writing about, well, you know, dating failures, but this definitely counts. Crash and burn time. 

The next night, Saturday, before our date, I had told another girl I see at the bar often, what was going on. She didn’t believe me. Strike one. She called the bartender over, and asked his intentions towards me. He said, in Korean, that he was going to go out with me, because he wanted to play alone with me. 

If you don’t speak any Korean, I guess that would be an awkward thing to hear. But, it’s not a bad thing. She was surprised. She said she hoped we could make a couple. But, she didn’t want me to get hurt. I told her that we’d been flirting back and forth for four months, and that I felt like I had to try. And if it didn’t work out, then it didn’t work out. But, that I seriously had to try. She thought that was really cool. Asked if she could tell her boyfriend what I’d said. He agreed. I was cool.

So that’s something.

Because I was getting nervous, based on her reaction of Bartender, I called the female bartender over. She’s his closest friend, and the one I’m also closest with. I didn’t tell her about the date, because he hadn’t, but I asked her what she thought his feelings were. She said she felt he only wanted me as a friend. Strike two.

Well, fuck.

So I ask the bartender straight out. I mean. I’m nothing if not straight-forward. 

Bombshell.

Guess he got his English mixed up. Strike three. 

He thought, when I’d asked him out, I’d asked him out as a friend. Oh, great. Mortification, please engage.

Blah. Anyway, I explained that no, a date was two people going out as a couple. Not friends. I asked if he just wanted to be friends. He paused, looked away, and said he didn’t want a girlfriend. That he was too busy. 

Now, he has no way of knowing that I’m not going to act like a typical girl. Meaning, I fully realize he’s a busy man, because I see him all the time working. And I’m not going to expect him to take me on proper dates, because he can’t. Obviously. But, that’s not my choice to make for him. If he doesn’t want a girlfriend, he doesn’t want a girlfriend. 

Was I hurt? Not gonna lie. Of course I was.

He left, and the owner came over. Realized something had gone down, gave me few free shots of my choice. After that, I was pretty much fine. 

Bartender came back and I’m pretty sure he had gone and talked to another guy that comes to the bar a lot, someone he calls his older brother. An American guy. When Bartender came back, he said he realized now that two friends going out was hanging out, and two people dating was a date. He asked if we were still on to hang out. I said no. I told him that I didn’t want that. I told him that if he just wanted to be friends, that was fine. But, he had been leading me on. He didn’t understand. I told him he’d been tricking me for four months. He disagreed. I still believe this is true. All the flirting and the skinship? I didn’t start all that. It takes two to tango. 

Anyway, I told him that if he wanted to just be friends, then we were just friends. But, that from now on, if I met another guy, I wasn’t going to not go home with him, or date him, or give him my number. He said this was fine. So, that was that. We were on the same page, right?

Wrong.

Stupid fucking boys I swear to god.

That same night, I met a guy. Not anyone I’d want to go home with, and one who ended up fucking things up for me in a big way in the end, which I’ll explain in the next post, but I met a guy. 

Cue Bartender shooting daggers at me, ignoring me, and getting grumpy. Every time I laughed, his head snapped up and stared at us. My god. At the end of the night, when the other guy had left, Bartender told me he was angry at me. I explained to him that if we were just friends, then he couldn’t be angry. 

The fact is, I wasn’t trying to make him angry. But, the bar is my picking grounds. And those are the guys I have to chose from. And if the Bartender doesn’t want to date me, that’s 100% fine. But, I’m not going to sit on the side and not meet guys anymore. I’m not going to not give my number out, because the Bartender might not like it.

I basically told him this. He was still angry. I told him, look, if he wanted to ask me out on a date, that was fine. If not, also fine. But, that I thought he was lying to himself by saying he only wanted to be friends with me, and that was something I couldn’t change. He got silent and said he’d think about it.

Guess he’s still thinking.

Meanwhile, he still flirts with me madly when I’m in there with girlfriends. But, the minute any guy talks to me, for the rest of the night, he ignores me, and treats me like he’s jealous. Not my problem.

I told that other girl bartender what was going on. She was confused as fuck and yelled at him in Korean that he was crazy. So, at least I’m not the only one.

Anyway, as I said. It’s his choice. If he wants to ask me out, I’m here. If not, he should probably stop being a jealous ninny over me talking to other guys. But, I can’t change that. 

So, that’s where things are.